My Kid Gets Meta-Jokes!

So, if you read my wife's blog, you know that Liz now understands sarcasm. If you know me, you know I was proud of my girl. Well, tonight at dinner:

Liz: Dad, why did the duck cross the road?
Me: I don't know.
Liz: Because the chicken was on vacation...See, that's funny because the joke is usually about chickens...

My heart swelled.

The Bulldog

Today, we went to the Expressway Pit Beef stand for lunch for a bring-back. (Not quite the same as reach-around - ask your mom.) Expressway Pit Beef is anything but an express - it took an hour to place the order and receive our food. But, oh my lord was it good. I had the bulldog and an order of sweet potato fries. Too much. Why you ask? The bulldog is about a foot-long sausage (hot or mild) wrapped in pit beef with cheese, onions, and peppers. It was brutally delicious. I'm now trying in vain to recover in time for hot dog night at the kids' school.

Yes, I Know This Guy

Yes, I do know this guy. He is a good friend. And, yes, I'm a little jealous that I don't have this jersey. (FYI, the name on the back is 'MIML'. Bonus points to those who know what it means.)

My Favorite Picture

So, I'm coaching tee ball now, and on Saturday, we had the baseball parade to kick off the season. Shannon snapped this picture of Sam, which may well be my favorite shot of him.

Kid Beer

First, a bit of advice for other fathers. If you are drinking beer, your toddler will be fascinated with what you are drinking from the bottle. Now, we know beer is bitter, and most kids don't like bitter things. Not my son. I gave him a sip, and he immediately demanded more. And no, he was not content to drink water out of an empty bottle. In fact, he became quite belligerent. Since that time, he has continued to try to get more beer. My wife and I have been trying to dissuade him. It is even harder when you have to thwart your friends' efforts to get him beer. But, the solution currently seems to be to give him "kid beer". As long as it comes in a nice glass bottle, he is perfectly happy with his kid beer.

Koolickles

Thanks to Filly for the recipe for koolickles (but no thanks for just bringing me some from Mississippi). These are the cherry ones. (No, there are no others.)



Here's are some more of my photos of koolickles.

Frost

I was going back through some old photos and found these that I took early in the morning on New Year's Eve 2007. It's my car before I left for work.

Don't Get Your Nuts In A Sling (Part 1)

So, Tuesday was the pre-surgical visit for what I like to refer to as the "Snip 'n' Clip". It was pretty straight forward. First a nurse took my blood pressure. Who's surprised that it was high? Then she needed a urine sample. After that, I waited for 10-15 minutes for the doctor to come in. Standard questions to make sure I'm ready for this - how long have you been married?, how many kids do you have?, I'm assuming you hold them responsible for your baldness and graying hair? - that type of stuff. Prior surgeries? History of medical problems?

Then he said, "Let's see when we can get you an appointment." I pointed out that I'm already scheduled for 8:00 am on Friday. He realized that he has quite a few neuterings that morning and promised not to drink too much on Thursday night. Really.

Now, this is where I officially got old. He explained to me the importance of prostate exams. Fortunately, he is not a big believer of the "finger test". Then he asked if I ever got up at night to go to the bathroom. "Sure." Then he tells me I might have nocturia and sends me for a blood test. Turns out, this is the same test that is used to screen for prostate cancer, but insurance companies will cover it if the test is for a problem like nocturia. Let's hope I don't have either.

Later, Shannon (the wife), who is also studying nursing, asked if she could assist in the procedure. My response - "NO". (She looked a bit too excited.) "Well, did you ask the doctor?", she said. "No, because regardless of his response, you're not assisting."

Some people have suggested photographic documentation of the procedure. Maybe me in a gown with a sad face? Who knows, maybe you'll get some photos of "my shame". Depends how hard that Lortab hits me.

And for any interested parties, here's the list of preparatory advice:

1. You should eat breakfast or lunch.
2. DO NOT shave yourself.
3. Wear sweat pants.
4. Wear briefs, not boxers.
5. DO NOT take Aspirin or Ibuprofen 7 days prior to your appointment.

The Final Countdown

I toyed with what to call this post - "D-Day", "The End of the World as I Know It", etc. But clearly DadGoneMad came up with the best title (and I wanted people to get Europe stuck in their heads). Looks like I've got some reading to do. For those that care, the slice and dice is scheduled for 8:00 am on February 8, 2008. There will be a memorial service to follow, as soon as I can walk without the aid of frozen peas.

Code Monkey

Jonathan Coulton made this post and it gave me an excuse to try and embed video. How hard can it be, right?

Quote of the Day

"Ring, ring blana-phone."
-Sam

Yoshii

Tonight, Shannon was playing Super Mario World on the Wii and said "Can I go down on Yoshii?". I think it was in reference to riding Yoshii and attempting to go down a pipe, but I'm a little worried.

Beerberries

It is my friend Paul's favorite time of the year because Red Brick Station has blueberry beer on tap. In fact, they drop a handful of blueberries into the beer before serving it to you. My question is how much alcohol can those blueberries really absorb in the 15 minutes or so that they are in the beer? I mean really. Certainly not enough to intoxicate even a 3 year old. Right?

Dollar Bets

At dinner last night, I discovered that my son will be the kid at the cafeteria table accepting dollar bets to do stupid things. His sister found a pepper grinder and was playing with it. He decided he wanted to taste the pepper. When I was a kid, pepper on the tongue was a punishment. Apparently it is a delicacy for him, as he smiled eating it. Next up, the chocolate milk, mashed potatoes, ketchup, and other various condiments swirl. Maybe I can at least get a cut.

Blog Title

Is it wise for a boy who refuses to grow up to be a dad? Only time (and three kids) will tell.